drawsblood | { inbox for ximilia }

[Five, ten... those sounded significant enough stretches of to Finn. It might (might) be enough for someone to get over something as earth shattering as losing a sibling. But a year?]

well, were you guys not close or something?

[The rudeness escapes Finn, too preoccupied with satisfying his own curiosity. He thought to his two brothers -- Jake, the one who practically raised him, and Jermaine, the one who retreated into himself when their parents died. Would he be able to get over Jermaine's death in a year? Something very big inside him welled up at the very thought, shouting no, that he would never get over it. Not in a hundred years.

The death of his parents, their memory, and the fact that he could think about them now without breaking down... these truths vanish from Finn's mind for the time being. He was focused on Joric, focused on siblings, and not yet wise enough to draw the parallel.]

Edited 2023-02-12 20:54 (UTC)

[ That question stings briefly, until he reminds himself that Finn doesn't know the way of Joric's people. ]

I was very close with my younger brother Karl. And to my sister, Astrid. I helped raise them. I wasn't close with my elder brother. Never liked him. He was executed and we all thought it the best end for him.

[Finn sucks his teeth, but he could understand that. Family wasn't a blank check. The mention of his younger siblings, though, and his relationship to them does resettle that anxious feeling back in his stomach.]

Oh, okay. That makes sense. [And, immediately after:] I'm sorry for all the questions, dude. I'm not trying to blow up your spot or anything, I just couldn't picture myself in your shoes not being a total basketcase forever haha. Maybe not enough people have died in my life for me to... get it, or something. Anyway, I'm really sorry about your brother and sister. :( My big bro raised me too, it doesn't get much closer.

My people have an eternal afterlife, so though I am sad they are gone, I will see them again one day.

[ Which might go towards explaining why he can talk about it. ]

oh. like deadworlds...

[The afterlife existed for Finn's culture as well, though it was only as eternal as you wanted it to be. Finn knew of at least five past lives he'd lived before this one, each one passing through the deadworlds before finding themselves reborn anew.

Funnily enough, it never even occurred to him until this moment that the concept wasn't universal for all peoples across all worlds. Maybe that was naïve of him. Or maybe humans were just more complicated than he knew.]

and it never feels too far away? seeing them again?

I do not know. Perhaps they are similar.

It depends on the day. What memories are awakened. It can feel very long or just the right about of time to finish living this life first. But once I'm there, it will be forever. I can wait.

[ That is - of course - assuming the gods see things his way and don't brand him a coward for leaving the army. The gods see what humans do not so surely they saw he had great need and will allow him into Folkheim. If they don't... well, he doesn't like to think of that. ]

[Finn reads over the sentence a few times, letting it soak into him. For the first time since messaging Joric in awkward apology, the teenager can feel his confusing and anxiety ebbing away into a strange sort of calm.

Maybe it's odd, but something in Joric's words reminds Finn of Ximilia itself. The people he missed from home weren't dead, not most of them anyway, but once he went home again it would be forever.

Maybe Finn could wait, too.]

I think i'm starting to get it. [In more ways than one. For the first time that night, Finn actually feels tired.] I know it's kinda crazy late, but can you tell me about them sometime? Your sister and bro?

Of course. Perhaps next time we see each other.

Deal! night, joric. :)

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